Wedding Jitters
by Freelance Fanfictioner
Summary: Is it normal for a bride on the eve of her wedding to pine for impossible love? Elisa is to marry Jason Canmore, but finds it hard to get over Goliath. Following Unwilling Protector, prequel to Saga of Steelclaw. One-shot.


Elisa opened the curtains and looked out at the shimmering lights of the city, which shone for her with the brilliance of a thousand promises. In less than twenty-four hours, she would get married, leave this apartment forever, and be on her way to spend a honeymoon in Los Angeles, a place she had always wanted to see.

So why was she feeling so apprehensive, almost afraid?

It is normal to have cold feet before a wedding, she told herself firmly. Many people feel that way. It is normal to feel nervous, doubtful… normal to feel bitterly disappointed in one's dearest hopes for a lost and impossible love… no. Check. She would have to rein in that particular normal feeling.

She could never have had Goliath, she said to herself for a thousandth time. Never, and not only because he and Demona were now back together. He could never have belonged to her, and he must have known that as well. She ought to be feeling grateful that everything was resolved in one clean quick stroke. He had his old beloved again now, the one who never relinquished control over his heart, and she would be marrying Jason Canmore twelve hours hence.

Jason was now no longer a Hunter, no longer an outlaw driven by desperate thousand-year-old vendetta. The only relic that now remained from his past was a slight limp, the trace of an injury that once threatened to leave him paralyzed for good. Elisa helped him to change the course of his life, and together, they would build a new one. A normal life, she reminded herself. A _normal_ family, with the possibility of children, and her parents can stop worrying about her…

A knock on the door was heard, an urgent rapping of knuckles. Who could it be, at this time? Startled, Elisa threw open an old jacket over her nightgown, and went to peer in the eyehole. The large form of her fiancé blocked nearly all view. She hastened to open.

Jason Canmore looked none at all what could be expected from a bridegroom on the eve of his wedding. Anxiety was etched in the lines of his face, his mouth set in a thin grim line of a hard decision. "Come in," Elisa beckoned him, feeling her heart sink. "You shouldn't be here, however. It is bad luck to see the bride a day before the wedding." She gave him a faint smile he didn't return.

As if answering her thoughts from earlier, he took both her hands into his and looked at her, beseeching. "Liz, I came here to say… it is not too late. You can still change your mind, and I will understand, I _will_… the wedding, the guests, all this doesn't matter, it's your life - nor would it mean we'd have to end this, you can simply take more time, reconsider…"

She stepped back, feeling a chill of horror in the pit of her stomach. "What are you on about?"

He took a deep breath. "Liz, you know I was head over heels with you the moment I saw you. As soon as I felt I had but the smallest chance, I seized it. I don't want you to feel as though you were cornered into accepting me."

She wouldn't put it quite so bluntly, but there was a shade of truth to his words. As soon as Demona was back with the clan and he knew her hopes were extinguished, he leapt in. He was patient, he was kind, he was understanding, he was always there. He showered her with attention, gifts, admiration, he made her feel secure in him. It was small wonder that when she saw the glimmer of the diamond ring a year and a half later, she smiled and allowed him to slip it on her finger. _Do not look back. Your way is forward, and away from here. _

"Don't be silly, Jason," she smiled, relieved this was nothing worse. Working in the NYPD, you grew accustomed to expect something worse. "It's just wedding nerves, that's all. Of course I'm not going to call off the wedding, I love you, you are the man I want." _This doesn't change the fact that there was once someone I wanted more, but doesn't matter… does it?._

"Am I?" he asked sharply. "I am not prepared to live my life as a consolation prize, Liz."

To silence him, she got closer, slipped out of her bathrobe so nothing but the thin fabric of her nightgown concealed her shapely curves, stood on tiptoe and kissed him. His arms instantly wrapped around her as he pulled her closer. This always helped to dispel her doubts, and his. His mouth was sweet, her arms strong, his blue eyes fit to drown in. _This is your man, your future, your gift for all you have gone through. _

"I want you," she said firmly, "I am so happy you never took me seriously when I first said no."

"And said no again, and again…" he teased her, then stopped abruptly. "In that case, Elisa, I have one request to make of you."

"What is it?" she squeezed his hand, "Tell me, sweetheart."

"I want you to stay away from the gargoyles from this day forward."

For a heartbeat, she thought she had misheard. "Jason, you cannot be serious. They are my _friends_… and I thought could be your friends now, too."

"Don't get me wrong," he said carefully, "I have nothing against them now. But I think it would be better for everyone if you stop being so involved with them. You know I wouldn't be asking this without good reason."

She looked at his face, and knew he was right, and this made her feel defensive. "If you are feeling insecure…"

"This isn't fair," his mouth tightened again, "I'm being reasonable."

She felt as if something was dying agonizingly inside her. All that time, those memories. He was right, she realized. She cannot hope in her right mind to build a new life if she continues to see Goliath. Some sacrifices must be made, some doors closed forever, if she should walk on along her path free and whole and healed.

"I will do it, Jason," she said, "for you, for me, for _us_."

"Good," he looked relieved, "so… see you in the morning?"

"Won't you be staying?" she asked, sliding her hand slowly down his shoulder to his chest and navel. Suddenly, it was his reassuring closeness she craved most of all. And she didn't feel she could go to sleep now, with her heart and brain reeling.

"There are less than twelve hours left," he grinned and planted a soft kiss on her lips, to mark that everything was now good and settled between them, and no things unsaid, "I think we can be chaste for that length of time at least. But no longer," he added with a mischievous glint in his eye.

He gently disentangled himself from his arms, walked towards the door and closed it behind him. Elisa paced the apartment for a few minutes more, than poured herself a glass of red wine and drank it slowly. She hoped it would help her fall asleep. A bride needed her beauty sleep, after all. 


End file.
